Hide your love

I used to love out loud but not anymore

There was a time when my love

Like the coat of many colours

Was shown off to anyone I fancied

But I have learned..

Learned that the ones you love can be cruel

They can eat your love and spit it out 

They can rip your coat to shreds as you watch

I have learned to love silently

To wait..

To be sure before falling

Sure before giving

Sure before loving

I have learned to hide my love

Birther of change

Grief is a birther of change

I loved hosting parties

Loved reaching out to friends and family

Now I don’t pick up the phone

I forget to text back

I cherish my company above anyone else’s

I’m holding my breath for that day

When the ones I love will grow tired

Tired of my slow, jagged responses

My heart is willing but I remain frozen

Something has changed

He’s been gone for a year

But I was grieving long before that

Grief sucked up all the oxygen and left a void

Grief is a birther of change

Happy Birthday

Today you would have been 67

Today I would have called to wish you a happy birthday

Today there would have been balloons and cake

Things to remind us that we had you for another year

I miss your laugh

I miss your jokes

I miss dancing with you

I miss your jabs

I miss being lovingly teased

It hurts so much 

That today of all days

You’re not here

No “happy birthday”

Just memories 

Of the last today when we still had you here


He says you said things you didn’t mean

You hurt him more than he thought possible

Your words were like daggers to his heart

But I’m different..

I make him laugh

I bring him peace

My words are a salve to the wounds you caused


He said the same words to you at the start

So am I? Different?

Voice Note

There’s no easy way to say this..

I have feelings

I’ve had them for a while

But it always felt too risky

Like it was never the right time

I don’t want to live life with any regrets or what ifs

I have no expectations

Okay, maybe a few

But first, I’d like to get this off my chest


It’s been a month 

But it still feels odd speaking about you in the past tense 

Whenever I look at your clothes,

Your favourite couch

Your mug

I’m reminded that you’re gone

That I’ll never see you again

Never hear you laugh 

Never dance with you

I don’t cry in the shower anymore

But my chest still tightens when I talk about you

Your incessant worrying used to upset me

Yet now I’d give anything to have you here worrying about me

Sleepless in Lagos

From the top of this 22 floor building 

Lagos looks almost peaceful

Bright lights canvas the street

From the few homes and businesses that can afford it

The buzz of traffic is gone

There is only silence

And the steady beating of my heart as I take in the view

You could almost forget the madness that it was 2 hours ago